Quit Doing This One Thing in Your Medical Appointments

I used to think that if something was wrong with my health, I’d just go to the doctor, they’d figure it out, and I’d get better. Easy peasy. That belief lasted until 2019, when my body started glitching. Pins and needles, tingling, and patchy numbness in my hands and feet started one morning and wouldn’t quit. At first, I brushed it off. Maybe I slept funny. Perhaps it was just part of getting older. So I waited. And waited. When it didn’t go away, I finally went to my doctor—completely unprepared, with no questions or expectations other than they’ll figure it out.

That first appointment turned into a dozen appointments. Every time my symptoms were dismissed as stress (or made up entirely); I was told to “keep an eye on it,” and I walked out with no answers. This happened over and over, appointment after appointment, until I finally realized something: I was giving all the control to the medical providers. I was a complete passenger in the process.

Let’s switch professions here for a second. If your house is on fire, you call 911, and the fire department rushes out. They see the fire and put it out. I expected the same from doctors. I thought they would “see” the fire in my body, put it out, and fix me up. Sadly, our health system fails providers and patients alike. So, what we end up getting is firefighters that show up and tell us the fire isn’t that bad and insurance isn’t likely to pay for the repairs anyway, and they leave.

We are taught to see medical providers as authority figures. We assume they’ll take the wheel while we sit back and trust the process. But that’s not how healthcare works. And the more I held on to this belief, the worse I got. So I made a decision: I quit. I quit assuming that doctors knew more about my body than I did. I quit thinking I had to be the passive, polite patient who just nodded along and accepted whatever they said. I quit letting appointments be random, directionless conversations where I hoped, somehow, I’d finally get an answer.

Instead, I became the driver of my healthcare. I walked into every appointment with a plan. When a doctor asked, “Why are you here?” I didn’t just say, “I’ve been having some weird symptoms.” I said, “I’ve had progressive numbness and tingling for 8 months, I would appreciate your help in being evaluated for neurological causes.” I came armed with a medical binder—past labs, test results, research to back my case for testing or diagnoses, and a list of symptoms with timelines. I asked direct questions. I pushed for second opinions. I stopped worrying about being “difficult” and focused on getting the right care.

And you know what? It worked. It took time, but quitting the passenger mindset is a huge reason I finally got answers. It’s why I was able to get diagnosed, get better care, and why I now help others cut down the years of medical limbo. Healthcare isn’t a ride where you just trust the driver. It’s a road trip, and you better be the one holding the damn map.

In other exciting news, , my book How to Be a Badass in a Broken Healthcare System is officially being released on March 18th in paperback, eBook and Audible format. The Kindle version is available for pre-order on Amazon.