Impatient Patients: Why Rushing Hurts More Than It Helps

Hi, my name is Kristina, and I was that patient. The impatient one. The one who refused to wait another second for answers. I was sick, scared, and desperate for someone, anyone, to help. I ping-ponged between functional medicine practitioners, integrative doctors, and traditional doctors, thrusting my palms out like Oliver Twist, begging, “Please, sir, may I have a diagnosis?”

And what did I get? A whole lot of dismissal. Supplements shoved my way like party favors. Providers who flat-out refused to help because I didn’t fit into their neatly labeled medical box. I felt like I was chasing my own tail while dragging my exhausted body through an endless maze.

The Gaslighting Power of Impatience

Impatience can be just as harmful as medical gaslighting, because when you rush the process, you may lose out on opportunities to research, strategize, and find the right care team. Sure, you’re constantly putting yourself in front of providers (either in person or in patient portal DMs), but spinning your wheels in all directions and going nowhere fast.

Waiting is a part of life with chronic illness. Waiting for appointments. Waiting for test results. Waiting for the right medication to kick in, if it ever does. Patience doesn’t mean sitting in a corner twiddling your thumbs, though. It means choosing deliberate, thoughtful action during that waiting time.

How to Better Practice Patience 

• Save for Specialists: That unicorn specialist out of state? Start stashing money now. Sell your Apple Watch or that unused Peloton membership. Those plane tickets or road trip to expertise-ville won’t buy themselves.
• Plan Like a Pro: Use that waiting time to prep for appointments. Write down your questions, review your symptoms tracker to document your top 3 concerns relevant to that specialist, and be ready to advocate with comebacks, research (not talking Google here), and scripts. (Hint: I’ve got tools for this in my book!)
• Review Everything After Appointments: Every visit summary, every lab result—read them like you’re studying for a final exam. Because things do fall through the cracks. Every time you hear, “You’re results were normal,” I want you to read the report for yourself and, if it is a repeat test, compare it to the previous results to look for any trends.
• Taking a Breath in the Face of Dismal: One of my biggest challenges when learning to better advocate for myself was to not lash out with anger, defensiveness, or even immediate submission. Practice allowing a moment to float in the air while you collect your thoughts. You may even say things like, “I’d like a moment to process so I can best answer you,” or “To be honest, I’m a bit taken aback by that and would like a moment before I respond.” 

Rushing Rarely Rewards

Every time I rushed, I paid for it in time, energy, and emotional bandwidth. It wasn’t until I slowed down, got strategic, and accepted that good care takes time that I began to see progress. After 3 horrific rheumatology experiences, I took weeks to really research my next provider, which I talk about in great detail in my book, How to Be a Badass in a Broken Healthcare System. Patience is not my strength, and it was not fun to wait nearly a year before my next chance to see a rheumatologist who actually understood Sjögren’s and could give me the care I deserved, but it was so worth it.

So take it from me: stop sprinting. Take a breath. And for the love of all things holy, stop thinking rush jobs will get you anywhere. Trust me, they won’t. (Also, Rush the band? Not a fan. Just putting that out there.)

Patience may not cure you, but it’ll save you from a world of unnecessary pain and frustration. And that’s a start.